He's here!!

Maxwell Curtis was born on February 12, 2011 at close to 7 in the morning. He was 6 lbs, 4 oz, and measured in at just under 16 inches. What a perfect little boy. He looks like his Dad, but I can see a lot of Emily in him as well--particularly the shape of his ears and the shape of his eyes, which I am positive will crinkle every time he smiles just like his Mom's. It was such a thrill to hold him for the first time. I could have sat there for hours, just cuddling this precious addition to our family and memorizing every expression, yawn and sneeze. We can already see his wonderful little personality emerging...the nurses nicknamed him Mad Max, since he doesn't like to take no for an answer. Sometimes even a baby just can't wait for others to make things happen.

It's time

Emily is in labor. We got a call late last night that she was having mild contractions, and she is now at the hospital awaiting the birth of the baby. Curt and I are practically sitting on our cell phones waiting to hear from either Em or Mark, but one thing is certain: we will be grandparents by morning. I have been warmed by the good wishes and kind words from so many people--and I haven't even "officially" put the word out. Emily's friends Kelle and Al called to see how the grandparents-to-be were getting on and to reassure us that they would call if they heard anything, and we'd do the same. Kelle thinks it's a girl, and Al is convinced it's a boy. I'm not making any bets. Em was so preciously herself when she called us last night. She told us that she was worried that she wasn't ready, since her bag was not yet packed and the baby's room wasn't complete. After all, her expected date is not for another ten days. It made me think of how absolute we consciously or subconsciously think of a "due date." But many times the universe has other plans. And that's the fun of it all. She is in good hands with our wonderful son (in-law), Mark. It is now 7 pm, and I have a feeling that we will not be sleeping much tonight. Note to self: remind Curt that the doula's name is not Abdul...

Baby Gazing

Emily implied that I am a baby gazer. She caught me staring at the newborn of my niece and nephew while holding her, and I must admit that I find little ones endlessly fascinating. I am incredulous at the perfection and sheer smallness of it all--from the tiny fingernails to the minute fringe of eyelashes. I also love the kaleidoscope of expressions, which are so unencumbered by social expectations and a fully developed (or maniacally controlled, in the case of most adults) nervous system. Yawns are like sunsets and squeaks and burbles like a symphony. I can observe endlessly and never experience the same thing twice, which is exactly what I used to do with Emily when she was that size.

Baby Shower, Part Trois

The most recent and final (I think) baby shower was held on January 30 at CAV restaurant in Providence, RI. There were about 16 of us, including Mark who always seems so comfortable wherever he is--even with 15 cooing women. A highlight was my sister-in-law Mary Beth who traveled all the way from Virginia by train to be with us. Another was my Mom, who at 89 years of age, was the bell of the ball. How lucky we are to have four generations of women to love this baby. Also, the shower could never have been pulled off without the assistance of my two sisters, who helped wherever they could. The favors, chocolate truffles from Sweenors in RI, were compliments of my Mom. Great time.

A Mother's Love

French babies cry differently from babies who've heard German in the womb, because they've absorbed French intonations before birth. Fetuses who have been read "The Cat in the Hat" while in the womb suck rhythmically when they hear it again after birth, because they recognize the rhythm of the poetry. A baby connects with his mother. Gazing at her, he mimicks. His brain is wired by her love (for example, the more a rat pup is licked and groomed by its mother, the more synaptic connections it has). A baby's mother, in return, reads his moods. A wordless conversation develops between mother and child based on touch, gaze, smell, rhythm, and imitation. The baby soon develops models in his head of how to communicate with people and how to use others as tools for his own learning. Thanks to his mom's attunement, he becomes confident that if he sent a signal it would be received. Later in life, his sense of security enables him to go out and explore the world. Researchers at the University of Minnesota can look at attachment patterns of children at forty-two months and predict with seventy-seven percent accuracy who will graduate from high school. Men who had unhappy childhoods are three times as likely to be solitary at age 70. Early experiences don't determine a life, but they set pathways, which can be changed or reinforced by later experiences.

--Excerpted and paraphrased rom "Social Animal" by David Brooks, "The New Yorker," January 17.

Countdown to baby...

Emily and Mark's due date is just about a month away, and I still have trouble grasping that there will be a new baby in our family is just a few short weeks. I've been thinking about how this new little life will change everything. For one thing, it expands our family and I am thrilled about that. It also expands our love. Just as we embraced Mark when he and Emily decided to get married, so too will we love this baby. And I really think he/she already feels our affection. When I hear Em and Mark talk to her, there's no way that he doesn't already know what's in store.

I found myself getting teary earlier today. There was a story about premature twins who were having difficulty after they were born, but began to recover as soon as they were snuggled together in the same crib. Life outside the womb is a scary place, and we all need and deserve as much cuddling as we can get--whether one is two days old or several decades. Nana's here with open arms.

Celebrations come in clumps

My husband, Curt, turned 64 today, and tomorrow we will celebrate our 36th wedding anniversary. I think it's kind of wonderful that our grandchild will be celebrating a birthday so close to these other annual January celebrations, which also include the birthdays of other friends and family members. Our godson, Dave, celebrates his birthday on February 22, and the baby is due on February 20th. I like February, too.