Babies, babies, everywhere

I've gone to three baby showers in the past few months. My precious daughter and adorable niece are pregnant, and so is the daughter of one of our neighbors. A niece on my husband's side of the family recently had a baby as well. These young women are all in their thirties, and they are established, confident and mature. I like the trend of older moms. They have lots to offer and have gained a measure of life wisdom that they bring to their families. They know what they want and stand up for it. Babies need that.

This has got to change

I recently heard from a reliable source that children laugh the most until the age of four, at which point their daily giggles begin to decline.

Lucky baby

I just got back from visiting Em and Mark in Rhode Island, and what a wonderful experience it was. Emily's belly is getting quite pronounced, and the baby is very busy...and I felt him moving. I can't begin to describe the excitement, not only because I can't wait to welcome this child into the world, but also because I see the absolute joy in the parents-to-be. I was also invited to accompany them to their regular doctor's visit, and I heard the heartbeat, thanks to the indulgence of the midwife and also, of course, to the kids for including me in this private moment. What a lucky baby. Mark is such an active participant and watches over Emily with love and concern and consciousness. Emily is so careful with her health, keeping a pristine diet and exercising regularly, all while staying happy and composed. It makes me so proud to know these two exceptional adults.

So what do I do?

I've been wondering what kind of a grandmother I'll be, and that's a role that will take shape as I step into it, I'm sure. I'm more certain about what kind of a grandmother I don't want to be...the kind that:

1. ...won't sit on the floor and play.
2. ...won't keep an occasional and inconsequential secret from Mom and Dad, like stretching the bedtime hour a little or eating ice cream for dinner.
3. ...expects a child to act like an adult.
4. ...is too busy.
5. ...can't remember what it was like to laugh til milk came out of my nose.
6. ...can't think of just one more story.
7. ...believes manners must be upheld at all times.
8. ...hates to get wrinkled/dirty/mussed from a sloppy, wet  hug and kiss.
9. ...thinks kids can be spoiled.
10...doesn't know that parents are for discipline, grandparents are not.

...more to come.

Naming names

Em and Mark are thinking about baby names. They've decided upon a lovely name for a girl, but haven't decided upon one yet for a boy. What a daunting task. It's not like choosing the perfect crib or the best diaper service. A name sticks with you forever, and in some ways I believe it even influences how others relate to you. So I guess I'd nix the stripper names and the cutesy spellings. Like so the names of old men (this is personal: I'd have trouble bouncing a "Milton" on my knee) and the names of cities (remember the trend of naming a child for the place he was conceived?). When Curt and I were expecting Em, we knew for certain that if we had a boy, we'd name him Christopher Ernest, so he'd have the same initials as my husband (and his middle name would be after my Dad). We had no clue what we would name a girl until I was well into my ninth month of pregnancy. We hadn't considered the name Emily before that, but when we finally did, we knew we'd found perfection. And I never liked the name Peoria anyway.

Denial

I ran into a woman, about my age, who is also expecting her first grandchild. She is completely set back by the prospect of grandmotherhood and refuses to even think about what the child will call her. I think this is hilarious. Like me, it's obvious that she left her twenties a while ago, and if the smile lines don't give it away, the ages of her children certainly will. One can only get by with "I had my children young," for so long. Maybe she figures if the grandchild calls her by her first name people will think they're siblings or something? Or maybe if the word grandmother is never uttered within ten feet of her, it will magically turn back time? I, on the other hand, am embracing my crone-hood with excitement and grace and, of course, sunscreen.

1-2 Punch

So not only is the baby making its presence known to his Mom, Em says that Mark can feel the baby's kicks when he touches her belly. What an incredible bonding experience for the three of them. And what a sturdy little grandchild we are having. I picture her exploring the boundaries of her environment with tiny little hands and feet, waiting somewhat impatiently to make her mark on the world.

At Em's recent ultrasound, it appears that all the baby's parts are perfectly in place, though he shyly kept his hands in front of his face through most of the event. And even if they'd wanted to know the gender, the baby didn't cooperate. I like that: strong, active and with a mind of her own.