A small but perfect village

Emily and Mark's baby is due mid-February, and the time is flying quickly. We're all busy buying things, ordering things, taking birthing classes and planning showers. But if I had one wish for Em--that money or time can't buy--it's for a cadre of women to talk to, share with and trust as she traverses those early months of motherhood. It makes me think of my sister Joanie, with whom I shared many hours on the phone when our children, born just weeks apart, were infants. Everything is so new to a NEW mother, including feelings that one might not have expected. Did I do the right thing? Am I good mother? Is it okay to wish for a few minutes to myself? Do I have to enjoy those 3 a.m. feedings every time? Will I ever catch up on my sleep...reading...work...exercise...you name it? Have you EVER seen a cuter baby?? I guess it's a kind of insecurity--the same insecurity that any new undertaking or adjustment engenders, be it a job, marriage or whatever. Especially when you want to do it well--better than anything you've ever done before. And Joanie is and always has been my hero, and I can only hope that I comforted her as much as she comforted and reassured me. So I'm happy that Em is going to mommy group meetings, taking classes and developing new mommy-to-be friends. It might take a village, but one best friend is pretty great.

Daddy misses baby

Em has been at our house in Texas for a little over a week, and her husband Mark is joining us all for the holiday weekend, arriving tomorrow. They talk almost every day, and Mark insists that Em hold the phone to her belly so he can talk to the baby, too. It never fails to get a reaction in the form of a kick or other movement. At 27 weeks, she has been reacting to sounds for a little while now, and definitely likes the tone of daddy's voice. Last night Mark sang his favorite Carole King song for kids of all ages, "Alligators All Around." This all makes me teary...must be sympathy hormones??

We're planning a party

We're getting into baby shower time. Em's close friend is planning one, to be held over the Thanksgiving holidays. Em's mother-in-law is planning one for December, and I'm planning one for January. The next few months will be busy, but what a great excuse to get together with old friends to celebrate something so wonderful. I've been busy making guest lists and deciding on some games, and it occurred to me that these ritual-type events are another way that women bond and create community.

Women are weavers

One of the things I seek in my life is expansion--in people I love, in experiences, in knowledge, in personal growth and in spiritual understanding. I think that's true for many women: life is like a tapestry that we weave from the moment we are born, each thread connecting to another. When one is added, the whole is enhanced. When one is pulled, all are amiss. The prospect of being a grandmother is like being offered a perfect and colorful thread.

What's that color?

There's discussion about the color of the nursery. Em likes orange. Mark doesn't. I suggested flying "orange" under the radar as "melon." My son-in-law is smart.